“During The Wait"

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

A few months ago during an interview I was asked the following questions, “Have you been through any trials that have tested your faith lately?” “How have you stayed strong while going through these trails?” When I was asked this question I took a deep breath and smiled. I thought to myself, “You have no idea what I have been through the last couple of years”. I answered these questions with a brief summary of how I was diagnosed with celiac disease and the trials I have been through to find out this diagnosis. I explained how there were times that I just wanted to give up. God wasn’t answering when I was knocking so I just wanted to turn and walk away at times. However, somehow through prayer and family I stayed faithful and waited for His timing. Almost three years, I waited for God to answer. Like a said, simple and to the point.

The other day the same questions were brought up and it got me thinking. “How do you stay strong in your faith through trials when you are tempted to walk away?” The truth is, everyone goes through trials. It’s just a part of life. It’s how you deal with the trials that you are faced with. When God isn’t answering, it can be hard, frustrating, and disappointing. There are going to be times that it seems easier to give up and let the devil talk you out of trusting God. I mean, He isn’t answering anyways so why wait? Then there are moments where something small happens and you see God’s presence in your life and it gives you a glimpse of hope again. Hope that God is listening.

These past few years have been full of trials. I mean one thing after another with family, friends, health issues, and school. I thought the trials were never going to end. It was just punch after punch for a while. There were days I would beg God to make the hurt stop, the disappointments end, the mountains of trials get smaller. I knew God was there, I knew He was listening, but I could not understand why He wasn’t answering.

After yelling at God one night to just talk to me, answer me, show me what I am doing to deserve all of this. I remember writing in my journal and crying until I fell asleep that night. The next day I went out for a short run. The weather was perfect and I felt good enough to run. One of the reasons I love to run is that I get to clear my head and talk and listen to God. It is the only time that nothing else matters to me, as in school or work. I just run and think, listen to sermons, or pray. It’s the best part of my day. On this particular day I was just running. I was thinking about the night before and I heard God say, “Don’t worry. I have it all under control.” At this moment I had this peaceful feeling that there was hope. He has it all under control. Even when He seems so distant, He is still working. Later that day I got a text from a friend who said he saw me running earlier and I looked so peaceful. Crazy! Even others could see that peace that I was feeling.

The truth is, faith doesn’t come naturally. It is something that you have to work for.

Unfortunately, sin is all around us and we tend to focus on earthly things, temporary things to fulfill us instead of our heavenly goal. We believe that God will make things work out for us, but while waiting we tend to cling to things that we can see, feel, hear, and taste. This is not true faith. Faith is an action. In James 2, God says that faith without action is dead. Use your faith to follow Jesus. He may not say what you want to hear right now, but His timing is always perfect. There are many people who waited patiently for God in the bible for many years. Noah waited 120 years, Moses waited 40 years and David waited 12 years. Lamentations 12:9 says, “The Lord is good to them who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”

Through the waiting period, I learned that in order to have faith you have to constantly be pursuing God. Sure, He is listening to you. He always will. But you have to put forth the effort in trusting Him, holding on to that hope and build your relationship with Him. This is done by “doing” something. When I was tempted to lose hope or give in to the temptations of this world, I began to seek Him more.

There have been many times where I have been tempted to follow other paths, but I knew that if I did it would only lead to hurt and destruction. I have seen what happens when you sacrifice your faith for your feelings. When God is pulling you one direction, listen, follow Him. Trust Him, he knows what is best. I think back to when I was younger and I wanted to do something that wasn’t the best choice. My parents were always there to tell me not to do this or that, study harder, and train more. I would ask them why? Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I hang out with them? Why do I need to study? The answer was always the same, “Trust me, you may not understand now but you will later.” The truth is, I didn’t understand then, but I know now that they were saving me from heartache, regret, and pain. This is the same thing God says in John 13:7 when he is talking to Simon Peter while Jesus was washing his feet. Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” There is always a reason for what Jesus is doing in your life. It may be a small detour to where you are wanting to go, but He will always lead you to the destination He wants you to be at.

Through these many trials I asked God, “Why me?” I was struggling with feeling as if God was looking right over me. I saw blessings happening all around me, but why wasn’t I receiving any? I was faithful. Then I was reminded of those in the bible who were tested on whether or not they were going to follow God or take things into their own hands. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Job lost everything he had. Peter suffered many trials. So instead of taking matters into my own hands, I began to pray and cling to my bible just as they all did. I believe that this is what faith is. Having a hope that is anchored to your soul. God answers prayers in His timing and in His way. We need only to be still, have hope and believe that He is faithful. When you are going through trials hold tight to this verse, “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.